I haven’t written in here in over a year. In fact, my last entry, I can’t even recall in the slightest who Michael or Jeffery are. And this makes me realize that all these downfalls in my life are just small blips that in a month will have disappeared. If I let them.
I realized today that I am pushing 30 and I still cry in my room because a girl liked more than one Facebook post in a row on the wall of a guy who I’ve barely liked for less than a month. But somehow I convince myself by the slightest of notions that this time must be different. Most of the friends I grew up with have husbands. And kids. Almost every one of my ex-boyfriends is married, or engaged. But here I am with my cat. Feeling like my heart has more to offer than any of these other high maintenance bimbos [Yeah. I said it] and the person who matters just hasn’t shown up to embrace that yet. It’s hard for a woman to accept that the guy she liked is actually a douche, but such is the burden of a good woman.
My favorite book character had to accept it, and maybe one day I will too. We accept the love we think we deserve. I may not have yet realized exactly what I deserve, but I’ve definitely realized what I don’t deserve. And it’s you. You who thinks it is perfectly okay to go through the motions and then sweep a human right under a rug when it gets too real.
The good news is, with all this extra me time, the only real thing I have to do is run. Now maybe my best friends won’t call me fat anymore. #sarcasm
You have your go-tos, you have your last resorts, you have your regrets that can’t even be regrets because your life is too good for em’ but you always have your moments with your friends and the moments where you meet your new friends. Even if they are only in your life for a few minutes, connections you make with people can sometimes be the reminders of why life is too short and so amazing if you let it be. Then you have your cat who comes and snuggles with you while you are writing your stupid emo tumblr entry. Michael & Jeffery, I’m so glad I met you tonight, and though I will probably never see you again, I loved you tonight!
My big heart will never be stopped! I know I am too caring for the people on this Earth. But I definitely love Teen Wolf.
Recently, well mostly since Spotify has been in existence, I realized my iPod is severely outdated. That being said, I am starting the long winded process of updating it with all of the bands I’ve been into the past year or so. This includes but is not limited to (And yes this list is a blatant way for me to make myself feel hip):
The War on Drugs
We Are Augustines
That is all for now. Add to my list?
Sasquatch this year was better than I could have ever dreamed of. It made last year’s Sasquatch seem nothing more than ordinary. I spent it with two of my best friends, made some new friends, and met an endless amount of wonderful, fun, and kind people. It truly is the best place on Earth. I can’t express how in awe I am at the whole weekend and the different path through which I enjoyed it. It was great to be free to do what I wanted and talk to who I wanted and be with people who were there to have the best time they could. Not people who wanted to sit still on a lawn all day. The stove wasn’t half bad either, and our egg sandwich breakfasts were key to our amazing days!
Anyway, I’m saddened that my countdown has restarted at 360, but I know soon enough I will be down to single digits awaiting another sunny escape to the greatest place on Earth before I know it.
Lastly, I wanted to share an awesome and inspiring thing my friend Stacy said to me today as I was listening to Beck’s “Sea Change” album and how sad it is. After telling me he wrote the album about a bad split up she said to me:
"When I listen to Sea Changes, I just think, "wow, Beck was so sad." BUT then he got remarried and had two super cute kids. I bet he’s happier now than he ever thought he’d be when he was writing/recording Sea Changes. Life is weird like that."
Thanks Stacy. And thanks Sasquatch for smacking me in the face with all the reasons that life is truly amazing!
Seriously, am I supposed to write about my day, or share links, or what? I’ll write about my day.
Work was good, got some thangz done, ate some muffins with Ryan at Lloyd center. Took an awesome nap when I got home and then burned 1,000 calories at the gym. That’s right 1k. In it to win it. Now I’m listening to Wiz Kahlifa. Right? This is good stuff, I can’t wait to see Childish Gambino at Sasquatch in oh ya know, 6 days! This time next week I’ll be barefoot in the grass with two of my best friends in the sun surrounded by only happy, carefree people and music pounding through my bones! Could anyone really ask for anything better than that? Seriously, this Wiz Kahlifa album is so good. I have to spend more time with hip-hop. Music!
Well, I’m going to go stay up until 4am and love it! Rushmore is in my future. Bobby are you following me yet?
Hi! It’s 2012.
Took the fireworks
And the vanity
The circuit board
And the city streets
Shooting stars, swaying palm trees
Laid it at the Arbiter’s feet….